I dare you to love me...

I've named this post after my favourite line from a movie. The reason I love it so much is that while going through the process of coming to terms with the fact that I was attracted to women, the thought of being with a woman terrified me. I wanted someone to help me through the process and I quite literally wanted someone to say those words to me - 'I dare you to love me'.

It sounds like a challenge, but for a person that grows up with the norm that you fall in love with men, taking the step to actually being in a relationship with another woman... Well, it is a dare. It is going against everything that you think is normal, it is going against what a lot of people are comfortable with and there comes a lot of risk. Therefore when you hear the words 'out and proud', really think about what that actually means. Someone who has been through that process is indeed very brave and should be proud, and yes, I am patting myself on the back a bit by saying that.

At the same time I question myself, am I really proud? There are still occasions I avoid talking about the person I love for fear it may offend the person I am speaking to. There are times I feel slightly embarrassed to say the words, 'I am a lesbian'. I also despise the fact that I should have to put a label on myself. Then I question if I am really 'out and proud'. I think the video below describes this much more eloquently. If you have a spare ten minutes, please watch this video and applaud a very brave man.

I think society should have respect for someone that has taken the risk to 'come out'. If you are reading this as a fellow person that loves someone of the same sex and you are lucky enough to be with someone that has also taken the risk to be in a relationship with you, then I think that type of love is truly special. It is loving against all reason, all sense and with great risk. I have even more respect for people that do it with grave risk. There are currently 75 countries where it is illegal to be gay, of those 75 there are five where it is punishable by death and two where parts of the country it is punishable by death. Just take a moment to really digest that... Imagine as you sit next to the person that you love, that someone could burst in at any moment and decide that your relationship is punishable by death.

This is quite deep and depressing for a Sunday. I apologise for that, but I make no apology for bringing that fact to your attention. I am very lucky to live in a liberated country... Well, Mr Abbott has yet to legalise gay marriage in Australia but at least I can't be put in prison for living with my partner of 10 years.

It's quite funny really that a law abiding citizen, who works hard, pays taxes, provides for those they love, looks out for their friends, will take the trash out for their elderly neighbour and just be an all round good guy; can be hated by a complete stranger because the person they go home to is also a man. Actually it's not funny, it's sad. Then you have to wonder why the stranger would hate this man, a man who he has never had a conversation with: who is responsible for those values?

I'm on a bit of a soap box today, I'll take a step down from it in a second. I wish we could reverse all 75 countries belief systems, but this won't be done in a day; this will take time and awareness. It probably won't be in my lifetime but we can all help towards the little steps to raise awareness that there are currently 75 countries where it is illegal to be gay. That is nearly 40% of the worlds countries. Again, take a moment to really think about that.

I wrote this book for many reasons. The reason I am most passionate about is that we ought to be more aware that there are countries in the world where basic human rights are still restricted. The human right I am most passionate about is gay rights because I can relate. The phrase 'I dare you to love me', doesn't just restrict itself to two people who are in love. I open that up, if you have a view that gay people are an abomination; well, I dare you to love me for who I am and not who I love.